Before any of my Cancer readers get all up in your shell over the title of this post, please know that it has nothing to do with you. I have two Cancerian brothers and barrel full of Cancer friends (Hey Bessie), so I love y’all. I truly do. I don’t take my friendship with ANY of them for granted because when they care…they CARE. And damned to hell be thine fate if you cross them or take their genuine love for granted. I won’t bite the hands that feed me (literally…they love to cook for/ feed you)!
The majority of humanoids on this planet do not understand what Cancer season does to them, internally. It can be a very unsettling time for some due to inner conflicts they’ve been avoiding up until June 21st, turning into an emotional outpouring of “THE GHETTOOOOO!!!”
Untethered emotions rise to the surface and although it’s not a terrible thing to express them, it’s just the manner of how they manifest after months or years of suppression. That can lead to hypersensitivity in social settings (social media rant, anyone?) and if conflicts happen to arise during Cancer season, the reactions are mental breakdowns, tears or temperamental tsunamis (the male counterparts typically express the latter).
Cancers, for the most part, are good at “mothering” themselves and others. They also happen to be highly intuitive (ruled by the psychic waves from the moon) so if anyone is going to be connected to their truest emotions as well as identify what others are going through, it’s a Cancer. Not saying that they always do right by themselves but there are lower-vibrating versions of each sign.
Nevertheless, the rest of the zodiac signs tend to vibrate on lower Cancerian levels during the season because the majority of us shut off access to certain depths of ourselves/ hide them from others. We also tend to see things from a different perspective, such as the crab, that walks sideways.
Instead of running like lightning speed through life, like I always do, I slowed down and side-stepped into myself for an objective view. I did not like what I saw but decided to do what I typically do- put myself on blast while processing what I’ve learned, in hopes that it can help someone else.
The shutdown and cut off spirit lives heavily within me. If I feel a blow to the ego, disrespect, like my time or money has been wasted (or if you eat my food), you’re DONE. I don’t want no parts of you, I don’t want to talk about it, talk through it or work it out. Some say I jump to conclusions and make up in my head what happened and go with that. In some instances that could be true but what if I told you that it’s due to always getting the short end of the stick in friendships/ relationships in the past?
I’ve always acquiesced to the will and good fortune of others while sacrificing my own. I’m always looking out for other folks’ feelings and have their best interest at heart. For the most part, I think the best before the worst but if the worst happens first then it’s rare for a second chance with me.
None of the above has anything to do with the people I project those expectations onto. I don’t know if it’s a high horse I sit on (I don’t believe it is) but to get reciprocation of the basic shit in life like respect, honesty and loyalty aren’t bad things to expect, are they? No, they’re not but no one can read my mind and figure it out, either. What I expect to be reasonable simply is not. Actually, it is unreasonable for me to have any expectations concerning people, period. And especially so, if they don’t know!
Instead, I should be okay with letting mishaps roll off my back and teaching people how to treat me. However, I fear that would be viewed as doing the most but…how else would they learn, chile? I have a habit of setting myself on fire to keep others warm but once they’ve warmed up I’m left to die out instead of someone adding wood to keep me going strong. That doesn’t always happen with vicious intent but my fire doesn’t know the difference. It sees all of it as a threat and those triggers are what I need to address, more than anything.
On top of that, I’m always shouting to the rooftops how I want somebody to be able to work through things with me but I can’t be unwilling to do the same. In theory, I thought I was already great at being open and honest with communicating my feelings and exercising patience with another person’s emotional process. In practice, I am the worst at yielding tolerance and giving the benefit of the doubt. The shut down is an attempt to protect myself from harm and being vulnerable to pain but it’s more crippling than anything.
For those of you who have seen Ray, the box office hit film starring Jamie Foxx, there was a flashback scene of a young Ray Charles after he had just turned terminally blind. He ran into the house but tripped over a chair. As he started to wail out for his mother, her knee jerk reaction was to run to his aide but she stopped herself knowing that would cause more harm than good. She had been teaching Ray how to rely on his other senses to live instead of barely surviving on the help of others. His fiercely strong mother was in anguish but waited for her son to calm down and listen to his surroundings. Once baby boy gathered himself, he heard a cricket nearby and was able to catch it in his hands, while stating he could also hear his mother.
In the words of Donnie, We fall down but we get up. It’s not the fall or who tripped you up that you should be worried about because that is not where the lesson lies. Working with the people and energy around you will ensure a life lived with great experiences versus merely surviving due to fear of the pain. It is a handicap that I believe has inhibited my growth more than anything else. I desire to learn from love and live my best life instead.
Namaste off the internet til Cancer season is over, doe. 😉